Another post about love!

For those who don't know, I have a 2 blogs, this one, my real one, where I post about everything, love, my life, music, japan, etc... and another one, which is more like a "public front" only about Japan, and I tone it down a little. If you don't want to read about my life and such, and only care about my posts about Japan, please go to this blog instead: shurikntokyo.blogspot.com

I advertise this blog on G+ and twitter, but I only advertise the other one on Facebook, because... facebook people....

Ok! with that being said. Some of you may have understood by my previous posts that my GF in Japan left me, the day I got in Japan. If you didn't get it, well now it's written more directly.
And I'm back in this state of mind that I have been previously before... that state of mind where, I feel like I absolutly need to be with someone.
It's like I'm falling in love with everything that's moving, and has a vagina.

(pic only semi related because I was tired of looking for one)

 I've been there before, if you check some past posts on this blog it's easy too see. Except this time I know it. I know that what I feel is probably not really love. But how can I be sure? It's also dangerous to just tell myself this, and actually let a good opportunity at happiness slip away.
I don't want to hurt someone after going out with her and then realizing I actually still love my ex too much, or something like that, like it happened in the past.

But what if? What if what I feel is actually true?
I met this really cute girl in Japan. She's really nice. Right now I can't stop thinking about her... I just don't know if it's that post-relationship syndrome or not... and it scares me a little.

Right now I've decided to go for it anyway, because I'm in Japan, and I should have fun. I just hope I won't hurt her, or hurt myself in the process.

Leaving soon... sigh

I'm... a little more than 2 weeks away from my departure to Japan... and I'm not happy.
I'm probably at my lowest in years.
I'm closing on on a dream, but somehow I still can't see it, my world is darkened by that 1 thing that's going bad...
I think I could become millionaire right now and I'd still feel like shit...
And it's not that bad... I guess if you watch it from the outside, I'm not sick or anything... but I can barely gather enough motivation to breath and eat right now...
stupid brain.
I know I should stop caring about this... I know it's my big dream coming up, so why care avout something like this?
But I can't stop thinking about it, I can't sleep, everything tastes bad.
...

answer me...

Thank you me from last week

So I was gonna write a post about how this is getting worse and I'm really starting to panic, I don't want to lose her...
but then I saw my last post.

Resolution

So I spoke with her about my fears, and I'm still afraid... but we'll work it out.
Whatever the fuck happen, I won't let you go.

I'm scared

I think this is the first time I really feel this way in my life.
I mean it's not the first time I am scared, but it's the first time my own personal future scares the shit out of me. The first time that every time I try to think about what will happen, I am afraid that everything will crumble and fade away.

I have something to lose now, someone I wanna keep by my side forever... and the road before me, to be able to keep her by my side is dark and filled with  obstacle and stupid laws.

I've lost loved ones before, broke relationships, but it's always been on an instant, or just because I didn't care anymore, there has never really been a time where I was scared of the passing time because it could mean the end of my happiness like that...
I'm so scared of it right now that I can barely sleep anymore...

At least there's a lot of events around here in February to help me forget about it...
oh wait ...
fuck...
Valentine's day....

Theorem de l'amour partie 1

L'amour, il n'y a rien de plus puissant au monde.
L'amour est comme l'anneau Unique, un sentiment puissant qui controle et unis tout les autre ssentiments. L'amour peut nous faire sentiru heureu, triste, faché, elle est maitresse de la haine et du bonheur.

Mais qu'ece donc que l'amour au final.
Ece que ce n'est que la peur de la solitude?
Pourquoi ece que l'amour s'effrite si facilement , malgré tant de puissance, et que l'orsqu'elle meurt c'est a ce moment qu'elle revien le plus fort?

Si l'amour n'est que la peur d'etre seul, il serais normal qu'elle s'éffrite a la longue d'etre avec quelqu'un, et qu'elle revienne losrque le danger de perdre cette personne s'agrandit, puisque le risque de se retrouver seul augmente.

Mais si l'amour n'est que la peur d'être seul, pourquoi ece que apres une rupture, sommes nous si sur que nous ne voulont personne dautre, et pourquoi refusont nous de voir ceux qui nous aimes autour?

Alors ce ne serais pas la peur d'être seul...

j'aime mais je ne suis pas aimer. Enfin je crois... L'amour rend aveugle! ece que la peur en fait autant?