Back from Hiatus part 5: Katawa Shoujo

 

On september 1st, I finished Katawa Shoujo,  a visual novel made by people from around the world, that started in a thread on 4chan, for the first time.

I've finished many games in my life, so whe does this one require a post, especially almost 2 months later?

Because even 2 months later, I'm still in love with Emi.

Katawa shoujo was the first Visual Novel I finished. Usually I always get bored pretty quickly when "playing" them. But I remember I enjoyed the first act of Katawa Shoujo when it got out at first, I don't know why I never bothered to try the full thing when it was released... probably because all the other VNs I played after that, i couldn't finish them, and got bored by them, so I just though all VNs are like that... maybe I was just unlucky with the ones I choose?

Well I'm really happy I decided to give it another shot. This run made me go through a lot of emotions, and I really got into it. I pretty much fell in love with Emi, even before the character in the game did. and that ending was really cute.

 

This game actually made me happier in my everyday life for a while, and made my status as a "single" a lot easier to bear. After playing this I actually understand a lot more the peopl who say "they are in love with a character", and I regret calling other characters my Waifu before. The feelings I got for Emi are real.

If you want to have some feels, go try it now, it's free, you can get it here for any os, but be warned... There's no coming back.

Love will find it's way!

I know I didn't talk about love much lately... mainly because, since I'm living in Japan now, most people come to this blog for the Life in Japan, and not for my personal life.But with something this big, I can't really not talk about it!

I met a really nice girl when I was watching Sakuras. Funny enough, her name is Sakura! She's really cute, small, has brown hair, and speaks a little English. We spoke a lot during the last couple of days, and we now know that this is love!

We'll be getting MARRIED! YES! the date isn't set yet, but it'll be a traditional Japanese wedding. I'm so Happy!
Sorry I don't have a picture of her, but I'll try to post one soon!

Adieu

I'll never see you again. It pains me so... but at least now everything is clear.

Another post about love!

For those who don't know, I have a 2 blogs, this one, my real one, where I post about everything, love, my life, music, japan, etc... and another one, which is more like a "public front" only about Japan, and I tone it down a little. If you don't want to read about my life and such, and only care about my posts about Japan, please go to this blog instead: shurikntokyo.blogspot.com

I advertise this blog on G+ and twitter, but I only advertise the other one on Facebook, because... facebook people....

Ok! with that being said. Some of you may have understood by my previous posts that my GF in Japan left me, the day I got in Japan. If you didn't get it, well now it's written more directly.
And I'm back in this state of mind that I have been previously before... that state of mind where, I feel like I absolutly need to be with someone.
It's like I'm falling in love with everything that's moving, and has a vagina.

(pic only semi related because I was tired of looking for one)

 I've been there before, if you check some past posts on this blog it's easy too see. Except this time I know it. I know that what I feel is probably not really love. But how can I be sure? It's also dangerous to just tell myself this, and actually let a good opportunity at happiness slip away.
I don't want to hurt someone after going out with her and then realizing I actually still love my ex too much, or something like that, like it happened in the past.

But what if? What if what I feel is actually true?
I met this really cute girl in Japan. She's really nice. Right now I can't stop thinking about her... I just don't know if it's that post-relationship syndrome or not... and it scares me a little.

Right now I've decided to go for it anyway, because I'm in Japan, and I should have fun. I just hope I won't hurt her, or hurt myself in the process.

No news about Japan

I'd really like to give you some news about Japan, but right now, all I see is black, I'm in the land I always wanted to be in, and everything is dark. I can't breathe, I can hardly eat, I really don't feel like writing anything about Japan here.

Worst timing

So I'm finally in Japan, and I feel like shit.
It's Christmas,  in Japan Christmas is the couples holiday, but I'm now officially not par of this group anymore.
I hope I can get over this shit soon or it's gonna be the worst period of my life.

Leaving soon... sigh

I'm... a little more than 2 weeks away from my departure to Japan... and I'm not happy.
I'm probably at my lowest in years.
I'm closing on on a dream, but somehow I still can't see it, my world is darkened by that 1 thing that's going bad...
I think I could become millionaire right now and I'd still feel like shit...
And it's not that bad... I guess if you watch it from the outside, I'm not sick or anything... but I can barely gather enough motivation to breath and eat right now...
stupid brain.
I know I should stop caring about this... I know it's my big dream coming up, so why care avout something like this?
But I can't stop thinking about it, I can't sleep, everything tastes bad.
...

answer me...

More Japan pic... oh wait no

I finally got the pictures from Fuji-Q Highland, but I feel so down right now that I don't feel like posting them.

Last days in Tokyo, return to the Normal life

Sorry for the Silence, but I was enjoying time with my love, and I was kinda tired of writing.

Last day before My girlfriend got back in japan, we went to Asakusa, and finished our shopping in Akiba. I don't have the pictures yet, sorry.

So the day after, Nanae got in Japan, I met her in the morning, really really early, and spent a little time with her, then we met with BenPi. We went to Akiba, played some arcades, when to Shinjuku to pay for the bus trip for the day after, then went to Shibuya to see the huge crossing. We also had a taste of the Japanese Otaku culture, girl side, as Nanae showed us Otome Road, in Ikebukuro.

We finished that day In Ginza by meeting with one Of Nanae's friend.

The day after we went to Fuji-Q Highland, It's an amusement park near to mount Fuji. The reason I really wanted to go there is because that's the place where there is the life size Evangelion unit 1 head and entry plug. We took a couple of pics there, it's pretty nice. After that we did some roller coaster... Nanae went alone is the one that has the steepest drop in the world... it's actually reversed, and does a lot of loops, I don't like this kinds of things so much... it actually scare me a lot.
We also went to their haunted house, which is supposed to be very very scary.... well it was a little I guess... Nanae was terrified, but as for me... anyways, I mostly went there to see Nanae's reaction... sorry.

The day after I went alone to Nanae's house to met her mom.
For my future to be happy, It had to be a good meeting, and I think it went well.
After that we went to the Karaoke! 3 hours of Karaoke, it was interesting, but unfortunately, all Japanese songs have only kanji lyrics so BenPi could only do English song, as for me I was able to do just a couple of songs I knew enough, and very slow ones that I was able to follow (Atashi Marisa was easy to read). Nanae if course had no problem with this, since well, it's even easier if it's in Japanese for her, so she sang a couple of songs, and danced on the sofa there. I got some pics and videos that I will upload later.
After the Karaoke went around Akiba the 3 together.

Saturday we went to a cosplay event in some small amusement park close to Ikebukuro. It was my first time in a small cosplay event in Japan. This has nothing in common with anime conventions or Comiket. It's a little like the cosplay day at L'Imaginaire in Quebec, but without the shop. It was an interesting experience, I think I prefer Canada's cosplay event (conventions mostly) because people seem to have a tendency to speak more to each others. But according to Nanae, since the area was so big, and there was not so many people, it's usually not like this... well maybe I'll see next year. We took a couple of pictures of cosplays, we got the permission of everyone to post them on the Internet. except one, that I will not upload, obviously. The To Aru group and K-On group were really nice. The K-On groups gave us K-ON chips, no idea why, but Thanks!

After that we Went to eat sukiyaki, then we said bye to BenPi for the night, to spend one last night with my love before returning to Quebec.

Sunday we cleaned the apartment, then went to the airport, said Good-Bye to Nanae. Sad time, Some tears, then the FUCKING plane...
I hate planes, especially going to japan. 13 hours cramped in a seat built for midgets.
Then the customs in Detroit... I kinda hate the united states now, so fucking paranoid, and especially after leaving japan where everyone is always so kind and respectful, getting to see the stupid asshole face of the custom guy at Detroit got me in a bad mood for at least an Hour. I'll pick Air Canada for sure next time.

And now I'm back at my house. I miss My girlfriend, I miss Japan, I think my bed is way too fucking big, but at least it's a lot more comfortable than the one we had in japan.

That pretty much sums up everything. Pics will be posted later, and I'll probably update the old albums with better or modified pics later, I'll post about it I guess.

Thanks for following me, during my trip, my blog reached an average of like 40-80 person per day where there was a new post, peak being at 112. I'm really impressed.

Thank you me from last week

So I was gonna write a post about how this is getting worse and I'm really starting to panic, I don't want to lose her...
but then I saw my last post.

Resolution

So I spoke with her about my fears, and I'm still afraid... but we'll work it out.
Whatever the fuck happen, I won't let you go.

I'm scared

I think this is the first time I really feel this way in my life.
I mean it's not the first time I am scared, but it's the first time my own personal future scares the shit out of me. The first time that every time I try to think about what will happen, I am afraid that everything will crumble and fade away.

I have something to lose now, someone I wanna keep by my side forever... and the road before me, to be able to keep her by my side is dark and filled with  obstacle and stupid laws.

I've lost loved ones before, broke relationships, but it's always been on an instant, or just because I didn't care anymore, there has never really been a time where I was scared of the passing time because it could mean the end of my happiness like that...
I'm so scared of it right now that I can barely sleep anymore...

At least there's a lot of events around here in February to help me forget about it...
oh wait ...
fuck...
Valentine's day....

2011

This is probably my last post of the year.
I've complained a lot this year, like any years, but overall, this has probably been the happiest year of my life.
I've got a job that pays well, is fun, has lots of challenge, and I work with people I like (of course there's people I don't like too but that's just normal).
I've been single most of the year but I learned to live with it, and be happy with myself, and I remembered one of the most important thing I had forgotten about.
I AM AWESOME
I must thanks my bros, Jo and Luk, for helping me remember that.
Thanks to that, I was able to end this year, as the happiest man.
I am now madly in love, and I get that love returned back to me, with the cutest, most beautiful, most gentle and most wonderful girl.
I'm literally floating in a cloud right now.

2011 has been awesome, but I want 2012 to be even more!
It's gonna start good at least! Starting the year with her in my arms.
Come on 2012! I'm ready!

Kinda forgot about that feeling...

Every time my friends who are/were in couple talked about "omg I haven't seen her for like 3 days, I miss her bla bla bla" I was like "GOD I'VE BEEN ALONE FOR SO LONG STFU ALREADY WITH YOUR OMG 3 DAYS"

... I guess I had actually forgotten... there's a fucking huge difference between just being alone and being tired of being alone... and that weird feeling that, even if it's just been a couple of days/hours, a part of you is missing when you're not with her.

Sorry 'bout that.
Both are different feelings, both are somewhat painful, but both are true feelings.
I remember now...

I already miss you!!!

WTF? HAPPINESSSS?!?!

While there's still place for improvement... my life right now is going so well. I'm happy.
Been such a long time since I could say this.
But right now...

• I love my Job, and I feel my work is appreciated.
• I have really good friends, on which I can count. Love my Bros, Love the Clique, and some other that don't have a special group name.
• Music sounds better than it used to for some reasons.
• Even my family seems to not have any major problem right now
• I'm madly in love.
• Got a weird but awesome relationship going on.

It feels really good right now, I hope it can stay like this for a while!

What is Love?

It's been a very long time since my last post about Love, it's meaning, it's purpose, it's effect.

I guess that the events of the last week are forcing me to think about it a lot.
My mother got remarried, even if I don't aprove of it, she seemed really happy, so it's ok.
And I fell in Love again.
But if you read my previous post, you may wonder what does that mean coming from me.

I haven't written here for a while, and during this time I've gained experience, and wisdom.
First I am not being held back by the past anymore, I am finally able to look at it and not give a fuck. So maybe that's why I am able to remember what that feeling is...

But even if I know I'm in love, it doesn't mean I can understand what love is.
But I think... it's not important to understand it... if you feel really good when with you're with someone, when you feel you can open yourself to that person, when you can spend a whole evening just staying in his/her arms, if you're relieved when you're together... If it's any good, why should you even try to seek past that point, asking yourself if it's love or not is probably just gonna screw you out of a chance to have some fun in your life, and to be happy, even if it doesn't last forever.

Catherine

So I finally played/finished Catherine.

It's a pretty good game, the puzzles are nice and really challenging. I only rage quitted once, but it was like 5:30 am... I was able to compelte that puzzle in 3 trys the next morning so, sleep helps.
That can make you understand how hard it must be for Vincent, not sleeping for a whole week.

I didn'T check all endings, but I played my first game as if I was the answering them, how would I really react if the events actually hapenned to me... and... I got a pretty bad ending, it's depressing.
Games are suposed to make you forget about RL not make you revive the worst events of your life, to the fucking details, all over again.
Fuck that shit.

2010

Thinking back on 2010, Lately it's been sucky, but when I think about it it really wasn't that bad of a year...
I've had the greatest experience of my life, going to Japan, enjoying the summer comiket, Akihabara, Maid Café. I've also had good time with Elisa, even if it did not last long. Anime north was great, G-anime sucked but oh well, what do you expect...

This year was bad on the love side, I mean I did have good time with Elisa, but it was at the start of the year, since then everything went bad...
It was mainly a bad political year in the land of the Quebec's Anime community. Lot's of hypocrisy, lots of lie, lots of useless and baseless little wars... I just don't give a shit about that anymore.

Made good friends, and good enemy...
Lots of good music got released, lots of crappy games too.
Lot's of awesome Anime, and the best Anime movie of all time.
I guess I'm complaining for nothing,
Let's all hope for an even better 2011! (Japan again I hope :D)

Answer to my last post.

So I've had a lot of comments about my last post (IRL and on MSN mostly) and I've decided to explain some things...

First: Love brings more pain than it can bring happiness: OVERALL.
meaning, even if some people are very very lucky and gets more happiness from it, if you add everyone, there will be more pain.

Second: I still think that love is worth the pain, considering the world we live in.
I will probably never stop fighting, and giving my all, in my quest for what I call love.

Of course I had much more than that to say, but since I waited too long, well I forgot about it!

Love brings way more pain than it can ever bring happiness

For MOST relationship there is always 3 periods, some only have two, but most have 3, here they are:

1. The flirting/dating/pre-relation stuff
2. The Relation
3. Post relation either due to breaking or death.

 In some case there is not step 1 because couple are just formed on the go, but usually these dont last that long, however there are some examples of couple formed without the step-1, or with a very short step 1 that lasted for a long time.

Most of the time the step 1 is lived only by 1 of the 2 person involved in the relationship and end up being being painful for both if the step 2 is never reached. Of all the relations that were ever started, a vast majority never reach step 2 and this cause a lot of pain to be felt by both involved parties. The one who is in love, will feel pain for not being loved back, and this pain will be as big as his love was. The more love there was the more pain there is, but this is exponential to a point because some of the people who will never reach step 2 with their loved one will keep staying there, forever, hoping that one day she/he will look back at her/him with the same love. All this time, pain was felt, for both side, because seeing someone that loves you so much, but that you just don't like, is painful in a way too. It's not easy to know that you are going to crush someone's heart.

If/Once step 2 is reached, there is happiness, a lot of it, especially in the first days, and if the couple was really meant to be it will last... for a while. But nothing is forever, while there is a very little microscopic small chance that the two lovers will die at the same moment, this chance is so low that we can safely consider it inexistent. So one day, this happiness will be broken, either by love becoming non-existent from one side, or by the death of one of them.

Step 3: after the relationship
when a couple is breaking, there is always more pain felt from one side than the other. There is always someone who will still be in love, someone who still believe it was for life and that they should not break. Pain will be felt, and it can take up to forever to completely heal from this. Some people will spend their life mourning their first love, while it does not make them unable to love again, this feeling will always stay. And even on the side of the one who is breaking the couple, it's not easy there, and hurt too.

I have personally felt what kind of pain is related to having your love die, but My father died, and it hurts, I can only begin to imagine how much it must hurt, when the person you love the most in the world die, and how long it hurt.

So While happiness is brought by love, it will never be enough to surpass all the pain it cause in the world.

Of course this text do not apply to DOUCHEBAGS, since they can date/fuck/ho out with tons of people, without caring. Well fuck you I don't want of your false love, it's more empty than my pain anyway.