I think this is the first time I really feel this way in my life.
I mean it's not the first time I am scared, but it's the first time my own personal future scares the shit out of me. The first time that every time I try to think about what will happen, I am afraid that everything will crumble and fade away.
I have something to lose now, someone I wanna keep by my side forever... and the road before me, to be able to keep her by my side is dark and filled with obstacle and stupid laws.
I've lost loved ones before, broke relationships, but it's always been on an instant, or just because I didn't care anymore, there has never really been a time where I was scared of the passing time because it could mean the end of my happiness like that...
I'm so scared of it right now that I can barely sleep anymore...
At least there's a lot of events around here in February to help me forget about it...
oh wait ...
fuck...
Valentine's day....
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